Do you believe in God?

Since I was little I've always gone to church with my mother and little sister. We are considered Christian; Pentecostal. So, I know of the bible and God. But do I really know God? I am not much of a reader. As a child I would throw some horrible fits because I did not want to read children books, but to have someone read them to me. Reading makes me so tired which I then barley get threw a chapter and I want to turn the light off and go to bed. So I know the stories in the bible from going to church. My husband, of 5 years, will debate you until he is blue in the face about religion. I don't like confrontation. Unless I know that I am right.

My husband and I were talking about religion and what we truly believe in now that we are older and we take what we learned from when we were younger to what we can say we have learned while growing up. My husband said that after having our son 5 months ago, he can't imagine a god who (in the old testament) would order god's people to go into a village and kill men, women and innocent children. But then a few books forward the god of the new testament had such great love to "...send his only son to die on the cross for us." (John 3:16) How can things change so quickly. I'm sure every single strong christian has asked the question "Why?" It scares me to get into this topic for fear that I would question my own religious beliefs. My husband does not know if he could truly "Worship" a god who could slaughter a town full of people. Like some who didn't know any better (i.e. babies). So it brings the question of the actual existence of God. "Well of course there has to be a God, not even science has proven that there isn't one." (from my husband).

So my husband and I went back and fourth to try and answer our own questions that we were both struggling with. That night, I was sent to a facility where there was a women who was Catholic. I've talked to some people that I know that believe that being a Catholic will only send this person to Hell. Can you believe there are people out there who judge other people and tell them (sometimes to their faces) that they are not truly a believer and that they will be punished to the depths of HELL! I just don't understand, but lets not get off the point I'm trying to make.

This Catholic women was suffering from "The big C; Cancer." It wasn't looking good for her because she was really sick. She was very much in pain too. She was crying for anything that anyone could do to stop this terrible pain. I had been taking vital signs (i.e. Blood Pressure, Temps, Heart Rate) when all of this was going on. I was trying not to bother the RN's who were caring for this person because they were very focus on trying to control this person's pain. Well once they went threw all of the proper channels to obtain this stronger pain medication, the RN was pushing the medication into the patient to finally try and get this pain under control and the women passed away right then. As I was coming down the hallway the RN was walking towards me, crying. I put my arms around her and she wept for a short time. She had to pick herself back up for the sake of this woman's family. When all was said and down, this RN and myself went to wash this woman's body before the funeral home came to pick her up and the RN told what some of the things this woman was saying before she passed away. She said to me, "Laura, she was telling me that she was seeing God. She was talking to God right in front of me and her family."

I hadn't known it until now but what a great witness this poor lady was to myself in the time of her death. I was questioning if God truly existed because of the discussion I had with my husband prior to going to work. But in fact it shows me personally that God does exist. This story gives me goose bumps.

Some say that when a person is going to pass away that hormones or chemicals in the brain fire from a certain place and it triggers these images. For some people these images are God or godlike. I really should research this phenomenon soon and blog about what I've learn later. I might do that. Which also brings me to my other point regarding whether or not "Catholics" actually go to heaven or are burned in Hell, like some people believe. Well, I think I've discussed everything that I can remember this late at night. Will post soon since I only work Fri/Sat/Sun, 12 hour shifts. Good night Blogger World! And Happy Thanksgiving!